The Ashley Madison Fiasco

Don't fall victim to the extortionists or the self-described morality police.

Don’t fall victim to the extortionists or the self-described morality police.

By Kennedy Jones (PHD)

(HALIFAX, NS) – Extreme Right Morality of the Impact Team. The Christian Right, radical feminists, Bulgarian gangsters, or perhaps a singular rogue, morally lapsed person has managed to make a mockery of internet security by leaking a database of Ashley Madison users to some post, in its own right, so dangerous to open it exposes you to the risks of shark hackers.

Even to find the guilty parties subjects you to a warning you may be hacked and your computer taken over.

Behind the rot and corruption so proudly declared by the hackers, the so-called Impact Team, a further layer of hackers lies ready to further exploit you. The Christian right as an ally of the extortionists? How noble!

Now are the hackers fearsome of being exposed themselves? Does Anonymous move in to crush the Impact Team? A Multi Hacker War?

My life in quiet in Halifax is as a retired politician, so I decided, as a possible freelance article for The Square, I’d do a little digging into the Ashley Madison website and perhaps discover something innovative and creative.

I expressed my deep love for sex with roosters and alpacas and waited to see where my fabricated desires would take me. To a farm it appeared. OMG.

To me, it seemed overly complicated.

Give your credit card to pay for messaging. Creepy and fabricated to the point I decided to get out after 48 hours and dump the idea of an article. It seemed nothing more than a cynical meat market. Can’t say the roosters and alpacas appealed to me.

It all seemed a bit sleazy and tacky, so I opted out with a promise my record would be expunged for eternity, if I paid $19.95, undisclosed at enrolment, to escape the sleaze. Obviously, not truthful, as extortion notices started earlier this week.

Pay $350 in Bitcoins and I’d be saved from exposure

“Times up,“ the message said. And it was from Ruth, castigating me for my immoral behaviour. Ruthie (the Nigerian?) scamming, claiming she is from the Impact Team, gets paid off and it’s all good until, of course, the next Russian or Bulgarian extortion outfit gets a hold of you. Your e-mail address and credit card information would be exposed.

The Impact Team was Godly enough only to expose the last four digits of my credit card, which I have just destroyed and deactivated.

While I have journalistic reasons to escape moral oblivion, I am not entirely sure about the other 37,000,000 users who are debauched evil sleazebags. Most likely, I suspect 99% are or were curious, but a mysterious, self-righteous individual, over which a cabal of the Christian Right or Bulgarian mobsters has decided it has higher moral authority, failing to realize the phalanx of extortionists are perhaps a more evil force than the alleged extramarital cheaters.

This whole fiasco is a failure of internet security. Ruth go you know where. No Bitcoins from me.

Change your credit card number immediately, check for unauthorized purchases, and change your internet password. As a journalist, don’t back off from sticky websites. Because you are investigating the scuzz, don’t fall prey to the scuzz that think you are scuzz.

They are scuzzier, despite their morals, which have hatched a vicious gang of extortionists. On a group of what can be called mostly innocent curiosity seekers.

While Ashley Madison has failed its customers, promising confidentiality, the Impact Team, seeking a moral correctness, has boomeranged the creation of a pool of extortionists.

Now, all this is so shady, I am rapidly losing track of any morality. All said and done, the Impact Team is from hell. In an attempt to be morally superior, it has created a trail of suicides, extortion, fear, and criminal corruption.

Curiosity has been interpreted as infidelity. The Impact Team’s morals have obfuscated reality.

Expose me baby, you bastards. Come to Halifax and we will take you and toss you in the Tar Pits of Sydney, along with the team from Ashley Madison that guaranteed confidentiality.

Let’s see how Avid Media, the owner of Ashley Madison, does in Canadian class action suits. How much longer it can survive is dubious.

There is no doubt the Impact Team will be victorious. However, when it comes to admission into heaven, the Impact Team will face some serious questioning about the human destruction they have wreaked. They’ll be partying in Hell with no cheating infidels to ease the pain of fire burning their bodies.

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About the Author

Ian Shalapata
Ian Shalapata
Ian Shalapata is the owner and publisher of Square Media Group. He covers politics, the police beat, community events, the arts, sports, and everything in between. His imagery and freelance contributions have appeared in select publications and for organizations in Canada and the United States. Contact Ian with story ideas.
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